Don't send a boy
by Popkov
Summary: ... to do a monster's job
1. Chapter 1

"This is unprecedented!"

"This is a catastrophe!"

"How is this even possible?!"

"Enough!" - Keele did not actually raise his voice, but the other members grew silent nonetheless - "We will leave this to you, Ikari."

And with that the session was over.

Fuyutsuki breathed a sigh of relief.

"I would not be so hasty as to relax now, sensei"

"Indeed. The position they left us in is quite obvious" - Fuyutsuki sounded annoyed, but not worried (as he liked to say, "at my age, there is no reason to worry myself about anything") - "But really. What do they expect us to do about this?"

He was shocked to discover Gendo's face lit up in a never-before-seen grin. You'd think Christmas came early for him.

"The old fools are scared. This is the biggest proverbial monkey wrench in their beloved plans. They're scared witless of this... development"

"But the question remains: What _are_ we going to do?"

"Nothing. We have one job, and one job only: Destroy the angels. It does not affect _our_ plans... For now"

Fuyutsuki let out an exasperated sigh. As much as it was gratifying to see those old coots squirm, Gendo was enjoying it way too much.

Misato was in a strange mood: she did not feel like beer. _At all_. If anything, she wanted to be sober and awake. Because every time she closed her eyes, she saw...

_**6 hours ago**_

"The head's damaged! Extent of damage unknown!"

"SHINJI!" - Misato has never felt so helpless. Their only hope was soundly defeated seconds within its deployment.

Among the yells of damage reports, techno-babble and a whole lot of unnecessary reminders of how urgent the situation was, by some miracle, Shinji's voice was heard. He sounded meek and was obviously loosing conscience.

"... I'm sorry... Z..."

And with that they lost all communication with the Eva.

And then it came. A sound, unlike anything they ever heard before, tore through the night - a defiant roar, signalling a seemingly universal challenge to whoever was worthy.

"There's something approaching at tremendous speed! Dear God..." - Maya could not help but actually turn to the main screens - "It's here!"

Sachiel has foolishly ignored the challenge - for it was meant for him. Before he could finish off his target, something smashed into his side, sending him flying a good distance off.

While the angel laboriously got to his feet, the crew back at Nerv got a look at the new challenger in all his - or better, its - full glory: a 55 metre tall dinosaur-like creature with a roughly rectangular head - complete with a very thick lower jaw -, long powerful arms, its back lined with two rows of dorsal spikes - the largest were on its shoulder, and each were around the size of its head - all the way to its long, whip-like tail.

As Sachiel was finally facing it, the creature roared again, before charging the angel. Without a moment's hesitation, Sachiel raised one of his arms and shot a spike towards his attacker. With nimbleness belying its huge bulk, the creature dodged to the side and not a moment later, sunk its teeth into Sachiel's arm, crushing it and managing to all but pull it out of its socket.

While seemingly surprised, Sachiel recovered quickly, grabbing the creature's head with his remaining hand. Immediately letting go, the creature twisted out of the angel's grip and... this is where things got even weirder. Something like an electric charge dashed up through the creature's spikes and, after a brief, yet bright, flash of its yellow eyes, it let out an enormous green jet of flame. More shocking still, the flame all but vaporized Satchiels other arm. Taking advantage of its enemy's hesitation, the creature spun and tripped the angel with its tail, jumping on top of him without hesitation. Either by instinct, or by luck, it went straight for his core.

Knowing that his time was up, the angel did the only thing he could: destroy hiss enemy at any cost. But before he could do such a thing, that same green flame went straight through his core. He still exploded, but it was more an explosion of rapidly disintegrating body parts than the holocaust he intended to create.

With its job done, the creature turned towards the Eva. It approached the downed giant cautiously, sniffing it once close. After what seemed like a close examination, it turned its head upward, delivered one last roar - this one announcing its victory - and fled into the night.

_**Now**_

Shinji woke up with a start, all but jumping out of his bed. After a quick, but thorough check he was satisfied that he was alright. Sore, tired, confused, yes, but alright. Laying back, he breathed slowly, clearing his mind, and letting the events of the evening come back to him. And what he remembered made him smile.

"Thanks, Z" - he murmured, before letting sleep envelop him once more.


	2. Chapter 2

*knock**knock*

"Come in"

As Misato tentatively entered Shinji's dorm, a curious sight greeted her eyes. The boy was in the middle of putting his shirt on, so she had a clear view of his back: around where his left kidney would be, there was a large angry scar, stretching from just near the spine all the way around to the front; additionally, the skin along it was a strange livid green colour - as if the wound was...

"... cauterized?'" - Shinji's voice startled Misato out of her reverie. She stared dumbly at him. He simply finished putting his shirt on and turned to face her, crossing his arms.

"'Was it cauterized?' was what you were thinking" - Shinji had a strangely ironic smile on his face - "Right?"

"... Sorry" - Misato was suddenly overly aware of her blatant invasion of the boy's privacy.

Shinji simply shrugged and resumed putting the rest of his clothes on.

Misato wisely held her curiosity in check. She was no expert, but it had to have been one hell of a strange type of flame to cause that sort of discoloration.

'Ugh... Now I'm thinking like Ritsuko' - Misato smiled ruefully.

"OK, ready to move out, Captain?"

Misato looked him over. He looked just like when she met him for the first time two days ago: brownish-grey sneakers with dull orange highlights, black pants, and a curious combination of an a cream-colored unbuttoned short-sleeved shirt over a black white-striped long-sleeved t-shirt over a normal white t-shirt; and to top it all off, a black trilby, slanted just over his eyes. This gave his grin a somewhat sinister angle.

The short trip to the elevators was devoid of conversation. Misato still felt a tad awkward, while Shinji was busy whistling a tune she did not recognize.

That was until they reached the said elevator. By some impeccably wrong timing, at that exact moment, the doors swung open, and they found themselves face-to-face with the Commander.

While the commander remained impassive, Shinji's face light up in a _truly_ sinister grin, meeting his father's glare head on. As the doors closed, Misato found that she was holding her breath the whole time. She exhaled shakily.

'That was too intense' - she thought - 'Just like then...'

_**Day before yesterday**_

"This is the last hope of mankind: The Evangelion!" - Ritsuko exclaimed produdly

"Enh whatever" - Shinji barely stifled a yawn - "Seriously, this is so predictable, it's almost sad"

Ritsuko was more than a little put out. Misato was simply dumbfounded.

"You've got giant monster on your ass" - Shinji scratched his ear absent-mindedly, sounding bored - "You need this thing to work. For that, you need a pilot. And so I am here. What bothers me" - he crossed his arms, turning his head this way and that - "is that the man himself is not here. I'd love to hear his side of the story"

"That is unnecessary"

All three raised their heads towards the source of the voice: Gendo Ikari, staring down at them all from a control box.

As she looked down at the boy, Misato was surprised to find him grinning sinisterly at his father.

"So, you finally show your face, huh, coward?" - Shinji's tone emanated nothing but malice.

"Doctor Akagi, begin preparations for deployment" - Gendo all but ignored the boy.

Mistake number one.

"Hold your horses, blondie!" - Shinji, with his gaze still firmly on his father, raised his arm towards Ritsuko. The boy's unwaveringly commanding tone gave her a pause.

"What sort of-!" - Gendo showed ever-so-slight signs of irritation.

""-game are you playing?!", right? Strange, isn't it? Someone showing up after over a decade and decides to start giving out orders. Well guess what" - Shinji put his hands in his pockets and turned his back to Gendo - "Orders aren't worth crap if no-one gives a damn. Toodles" - and with a dismissive wave of his hand he headed back to the elevator.

_**Now**_

"One of these days I'll let Z have you for lunch" - Shinji murmured

"What?"

"Oh nothing, Captain" - Shinji chuckled - "Just wishful thinking"


	3. Chapter 3

'Well, Shinji, for a guy with an IQ of over 125, you sure make some dumb decisions' - Shinji sighed, shouldering his bags.

He has just arrived at his new home; if the definition of 'home' included run-down apartment blocks years overdue for a demolition.

In hindsight, he was glad to avoid the alternative

_**2 hours ago**_

"So Shinji..." - Misato attempted to strike small talk with the boy

"No, I won't live with the old coot" - Shinji replied in an indifferent tone. Noting Misato's discontent at the implication, he looked at her with a decidedly annoyed look - "Contrary to popular belief, I _can_ take care of myself" - then he added in a wistful tone - "I just hope it's somewhere close to coastline. Preferably deserted"

"Why?" - Misato's natural curiosity took hold full force.

"I like walks on the beach" - Shinji waved her off dismissively - "And I prefer to be alone. No big"

"Well that doesn't seem a good way to live" - at Shinji's curious look, she explained - "Alone, I mean"

"Ah" - Shinji shrugged - "I just prefer to keep my circle of human friends non-existent"

"'Human'...?"

"Oh, we're here" - Shinji abruptly interrupted her musings - "Thanks, Captain, I'll take it from here" - and before she could react, he slammed the door in her face.

_**Now**_

'Seriously, what is it with people... Oh well...'

"... Home sweet home, h-uh?"

A quick inspection later, he drew only one conclusion - it could have been worse. At the very least, in a roundabout way, his wish has been granted: the house - and this is using the term _very_ loosely - was not only in the most deserted part of Tokyo-2, but also walking distance away from the coastline, which was just as deserted.

"Well then, settling in will have to wait"

Not even 10 minutes later he was off, a pair of shorts and a shirt over a full-body wet-suit and a surf-board under one arm.

About 20 minutes of a casual stroll, he was at the coastline.

"Tch, not a good wave in sight" - he remarked with distaste.

And this was the least of what was wrong with this place. And it had nothing to do with giant monsters. In fact that was one of the few things that would have kept him here. That and...

_**Day before yesterday**_

"Toodles"

He wasn't even half-way back to the elevator when something made him stop and turn around: a gurney was rolled in, carrying a blue-haired girl; she was wrapped in bandages, and obviously in pain; the IVs in her arms did not seem to help much either. His eyes bouncing between the girl, Gendo and the Evangelion, Shinji made the obvious connection.

"You can't be serious?!" - he yelled, pointing an accusing finger at his father - "You've gone insane! You know this girl..."

"... will pilot the Evangelion!" - Gendo confirmed, as emotionless as ever - "Doctor Akagi re-configure Unit-01 for Rei" - turning back to his son, he let disappointment slip into his voice - "What are you still doing here? Weren't you running away?"

The phrase had the most curious effect on Shinji. He doubled over as if in pain. Nothing could be further from the truth.

"Pfft... Heh... Hah!... Hahahahahahahah!" - Shinji burst into manic laughter that sent chills up the spines of all present. Just as suddenly as the fit started, it ended. Shinji rose up again and headed towards the gurney, his expression unreadable. Because no-one was sure what he was going to do, everyone else was rooted to the spot. He waggled a reproving finger at his father - "Quit while you're behind. If memory serves, the one always running away is _you_. Running away from family, responsibility..." - at this point he reached the gurney - "Shove, you useless nimrods" - he laid the girl gently, but firmly, back down. After a few rudimentary checks, slight medication dosage adjustments, he barked a series of commands at the startled nurses. Like a group of cowed puppies they practically fled, gurney in tow.

"I _never_ run"

_**Now**_

After paddling a good distance off, Shinji turned around to face the coast and sat up on the board, leaning back on his arms, and letting his legs dangle in the water.

He didn't have to wait long: suddenly something akin to a quake started to agitate the water, with waves getting steadily but rapidly larger. Grinning, Shinji lay down on the board and paddled for all his worth.

And then it came: with a roar, the creature from the previous night leapt out and back in, sending off something akin to a mini-tsunami. Shinji laughed as he rode through it, before it was too much for him and he was sent tumbling underneath it.

He wasn't worried however. Almost immediately, he was grabbed in something akin to a large container, and but a few seconds later he found himself back on the sand. The creature crawled out on all fours, before settling down only meters away from the boy. It snorted a cloud of steam out of its nostrils.

"What?" - Shinji enquired, amused, as he unstrapped himself from the surfboard - "I _almost_ had it"

The creature snorted again. As Shinji approached, it lay its head down on the ground. A short climb later, Shinji stretched himself out on top of its head.

"Well, Z, we're in the thick of it now" - Shinji remarked

Z let out a rumble, as if he was laughing.

"Oh you'll love it here. Plenty of space, no people, oh and more giant monsters than you can shake your tail at" - Shinji laughed as Z demonstrated he could shake his tail as much as he wanted at anything he wanted - "Yeah we'll show them won't we?"

He jumped to his feet and raised his arms up to the sky.

"WE'LL SHOW THEM ALL!"

Z rose to full height too and let out a roar, announcing to the world that nothing will ever make them back down.

That Sunday, Shinji was relaxing at home - for after he settled in somewhat, it did feel like one - when he got a visit from Misato.

"I see you have settled in" - she remarked.

A bulk of Shinji's luggage was piled up, still unpacked, in a corner. His bed was made up, some spare clothes could be espied in the closet, and on his table was a lamp and a few books. Shinji pressed pause on his player and pulled off his earphones.

"I see you are here to check on your star pilot" - Shinji replied. Then he asked - "Speaking of which how is..."

"...Rei? Ask her yourself" - and without a further ado, she led Rei into the room.

"Ah" - Shinji was up immediately - "Rei, right? Hi. Will just be a moment"

And without a further ado, he proceeded with a series of quick prods, pokes, rubs, checks etc etc. Every time Misato was about to warn him about inappropriate touching, he rebuked her for distracting him. A couple of minutes later, he was done, and plopped back on the bed.

"You're pretty much alright. Just another week of rest or so, and you'll be fine. Bye" - and with a dismissive wave, he put the earphones on and, with a contented sigh, closed his eyes and was once again absorbed in whatever it was he was listening to.

"It's not funny!" - Misato huffed

"I'm sorry" - Ritsuko tried her best to stop chuckling - "But you have to admit, it kind of is"

That same evening Misato had invited Ritsuko over, to discuss complain to her friend - a plan that had obviously backfired.

"I swear, that kid just gets on my nerves!" - Misato complained

"Now you know how I feel" - Ritsuko replied

"Hey!"

"I'm joking, I'm joking! But, honestly" - Ritsuko grimaced as she took another helping of Misato's "instant cooking" - "What did you expect? If you think about it, the world hasn't exactly been kind to him. Why should he be kind to it?"

"Wow, that's deep"

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. Then she set down her food and took out an old photo out of her bag

"Here" - she handed the photo to Misato - "Take a look at this"

It took Misato a few seconds to realize what she was actually looking at.

"... Oh my god... is that...?!"

"No" - Ritsuko shook her head - "That right there is 'Godzilla'. It had a brief bout of terrorizing Manhattan in 1998. In the end, it was killed"

"So if this is not... then... then..." - Misato stared at Ritsuko confusedly - "What does that mean, exactly?"

"It seems the creature reproduced asexually. And, while I mean no offense to their military, it seems they have, as Americans would say, dropped the ball on this one"

"Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying what I think you're saying?" - Misato saw a small flaw with Ritsuko's theory - "Then how come there's only one of this thing?"

"While I cannot say for sure, my best guess is that the creature is sterile" - Ritsuko did not like the look on Misato's face - "I know what you're thinking. Forget it. In case you forgot, our job and purpose is the destruction of angels"

This statement somehow gave Misato a pause for thought.

"... It helped us last time, didn't it?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Misato" - Ritsuko sighed - "You've been asking that question the whole week. And if I recall" - she winked at her miffed friend - "You're not any closer to an answer"

But Misato wasn't listening. A single phrase kept playing through her mind.

"_... I'm sorry... Z..."_


End file.
